Beautiful Disaster
by JimberlyShipper
Summary: This is third in my new series The Songs of EO. It began with Just A Dream and Tonight I Wanna Cry. This is Liv's feelings on Elliot. R&R!


_**Disclaimer: This is just another songfic. It is the third in a series I am calling The Songs of EO. This one is in Liv's POV. It is set in season seven, and it's how she feels about Elliot. The song used is **__Beautiful Disaster__**, by Kelly Clarkson. Anything that is known to be someone else's isn't mine. Just read and review, ya'll! **_

Beautiful Disaster

By Julia

It was a slow day at the Manhattan SVU precinct, which was rare. Olivia Benson and her partner, Elliot Stabler, were the only ones in the station house. Everyone else had gone home. Elliot and Olivia were both subconsciously trying not to go home. They wanted to be around each other, even if they couldn't say it out loud. Olivia took a glance at El, who was practically falling asleep at his desk. She liked to watch him. He was the most gorgeous man on the planet. She loved him since she had first laid eyes on him. He had a great body, too, even if he did hide it under all those suits. Lately, she had been wondering what was going on in his head. He and Kathy had split up recently, and he looked like it was still bothering him. He had been really quiet and pissed off lately. With Elliot, these things seemed to go hand in hand. When he was _especially_ quiet, it meant that he was really pissed off and trying to keep his temper under control. Not that she blamed him for being pissed off. They had had a lot of tough cases lately.

He got up and left the room, not saying anything to her. She sighed. She just wished he would talk to her. She had loved him for so long, and she had been thinking of finally sharing her feelings. There were times that she thought he might feel the same way. Sometimes, the way he looked at her or would touch her arm ever so slightly. She ached to tell him how she felt. They both had baggage, and some of it was the same.

_He drowns in his dreams_

_and exquisite extreme I know _

_he's as damned as he seems, and more_

_heaven than a heart could hold. And _

_if I tried to save him, my whole world_

_could cave in, just ain't right, oh _

_it just ain't right_

_oh and I don't know I don't know _

_what he's after but he's so beautiful_

_such a beauiful disaster and if _

_I could hold on through the tears and the laughter_

_would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster_

Olivia sighed as she laid her head on her desk. She groaned as she realized he had been gone from the room for only two minutes, and she already missed him. It was totally pathetic.

Elliot came back into the room, his shirt untucked and open, giving Olivia a nice eyeful of his defined chest. ''You OK, Liv?'' He asked, sitting back down at his desk and rubbing his eyes. It was the first thing he had said to her in two hours.

Olivia nodded. ''Sure.'' He shrugged non-committally and closed his eyes. She looked at him as he swung around in his chair and placed his legs up on his desk. She tried not to pay attention to his muscles flex under his shirt as he did this. ''Are you OK?'' She asked, thinking that she probably wouldn't get an answer, or if she did, not an honest one.

Elliot surprised her. ''Not really, Liv. I'm totally not OK.'' He didn't move, but Olivia could see him flinching.

Olivia looked up in surprise. ''What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?'' She hadn't expected him to answer her question that honestly. She knew something was bothering him, though.

Elliot surprised her even more by beginning to cry. He buried his head in his hands. Liv quickly pulled her chair around and put her arm around him. ''Liv, I'm drowning.'' He managed to say.

Olivia was shocked that he was opening up to her. ''What happened, El?'' She asked, running her hand as soothingly as she could up and down his back.

He didn't answer her, but pulled her into his embrace and sobbed on her shoulder. She hardly knew what to do. He had never confided in her like this. She didn't think she had even seen him cry before. She just held him while he let his feelings out onto her favorite shirt. If it was anyone else...

_He's magic and myth as _

_strong as what I believe a _

_tragedy with more damage than a soul _

_should see and do I try to change him _

_so hard not to blame him _

_hold on tight, hold on tight _

_Oh and I don't know I don't know _

_what he's after but he's so beautiful _

_such a beautiful disaster and if _

_I could hold on through the tears and the laughter_

_would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster_

Olivia had never been so thrilled in her life. She was feeling bad for Elliot, but this was closer than he had ever let her in. She held him as close as she could, trying not to smell him. He smelled amazing, and whenever she got to smell him when she actually had the chance to tell him how she felt, it always ended bad for her because she always chickened out.

He cried on her shoulder, wanting to spill his guts, she could feel it. She jumped the gun by saying, ''El, you can tell me anything. You know that. I'm your best friend. If you can't talk to me, you can't talk to anyone.'' She hoped that she didn't scare him into silence by saying that.

Elliot slowly stopped crying and pulled away. He looked into her eyes. ''I'm fine, Liv, really.'' He sputtered, and pushed himself away from her completely.

Olivia sighed. _Why_ didn't he just tell her? Something was _clearly_ wrong. He never cried like this. Not to her. Something had to be bothering him. She pushed herself back to her desk. She wanted to be with him, but she was afraid to leave him alone. In the end, she decided her feelings could wait. Again. ''Night, El.'' She said, as she left.

_I'm longing for love and the logical_

_but he's only happy hysterical_

_I'm waiting for some kind of miracle _

_waiting so long, so long_

_he's soft to the touch, but frayed at the ends he breaks_

_he's never enough and still he's more_

_than I can take_

_Oh and I don't know I don't know_

_what he's after he's so beautiful _

_such a beautiful disaster_

_if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter_

_would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster_

She'd spend another night alone, longing to be with him. She'd never know that he felt the same way. He was just too afraid to say it. It was a beautiful disaster.

_**Author's note: I hope that I got what I meant to say. That song is **__**SOOOOOO**__** Elliot to me. I just hope I made it clear to you guys. Just let me know what you think! The next story will feature the song **__What If I Said__**, by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner. **_


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